


P*rn is Art

by SonyB89



Series: Characters of Pedro Pascal [6]
Category: The Mentalist
Genre: F/M, FBI Case, Marcus Pike Deserved Better, Multi, Porn, Porn With Plot, colleagues to friends to lovers, lots of porn but not what you think, mentions of porn, pedro pascal fandom - Freeform, pedro pascal fanfiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:53:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29472003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonyB89/pseuds/SonyB89
Summary: FBI Special Agent Marcus Pike stumbles upon a strange case. A band of thieves is using porn videos as a platform for auctioning off stolen art - and him and his team are doing anything to stop them.Too bad that watching porn with colleagues will undoubtedly lead to sticky situations.
Relationships: Marcus Pike & Original Female Character
Series: Characters of Pedro Pascal [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2121489
Kudos: 8





	P*rn is Art

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea and it just won't leave my brain.  
> This story has explicit content and Porn is mentioned - but it's really a story about Marcus and my OC establishing a relationship from colleagues to friends and eventually to lovers.  
> I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Marcus Pike was sure that he had never been as uncomfortable in his life as he was right now, standing in front of his new task force.

Most of the people in this meeting room did not yet know why they were here, and the different members of the FBI legal department, cyber crime, his art department and sex crimes were eyeing each other suspiciously and with great interest.

Only his top consultant, Lynn Flemming, who was the reason for this afternoon meeting, seemed to be absolutely relaxed, yet eager to start.

His boss was also sitting at the back of the room, watching.

 _Now or never Pike_ , he thought, knowing fully well that it was not going to get less awkward to speak the more he waited.

“Good afternoon everyone, thank you for coming”, he said, not liking that his voice was just a teensy bit higher than normal.   
He took a sip of his water behind his podium and caught Lynns eyes. She was sitting at the wall, ready to step in when it was her turn, shooting him an encouraging smile.

Her mint coloured hair that somehow looked like a natural hair colour on her and her out-of-the-norm civilian clothing were a crass spot of colour in a room full suits and pencil skirts.   
She looked like a cloud of cotton candy in a room full of black licorice.

“My name is Marcus Pike, I’m the leader of the FBI art theft department. I know we have asked you here on short notice, but I will explain shortly why this task force was formed.”

Another deep breath.

“We have all seen each other around the building, but we have members of our legal department present”, he pointed at them politely with his hands, before turning to the next department, "as well as cyber crime, my own art department and sex crimes. I apologize in advance for having to show you the video I am about to play for you, but it is instrumental for this case.”

He had chosen this meeting room for a reason, because he could plunge it into complete darkness.   
With a press of a button on a remote, the blinds on the windows shut and he could hit play.

It was only going to be two minutes – but still, two minutes of porn could feel long.

The sound was heard first through the speakers.   
The sound of pounding flesh, fluids, moans of pleasure, a slap on skin.   
  
Then, two actors, very much naked and in the throws of a wild sexual act could be seen.

The HD video showed the frontal view of a king size bed. A blonde woman with surgically enhanced breasts was on her hands and knees, while a black man was pounding into her from behind, making her moan and say some of the filthiest things Marcus had ever heard.

_"Oh goood... I'm going to cum with a plug up my..."_

As soon as the camera was shifting though, he hit pause and turned the lights back on.

“Ahem… Sorry about that. No, this is not a mistake. This is one of a collection of videos that are the focus on our investigation. I want you to look closely, not at the couple, but at the painting on the wall directly above the bed behind them.”

Eyes shifted, but Marcus could see that most of the people in the room were uncomfortable. It was not everyday that you watched porn with your colleagues present.

“We believe that this painting”, he continued, “is a genuine Van Gogh, which was stolen roughly six years ago from the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam. Lynn, it’s your turn.”

Lynn stood up, with not a care in the world.

“Hey guys, I’m Lynn. I’m a consultant with the art department. And this case is kind of my fault.”

Everybodys eyes were on her now, but she smiled.

“So I was watching porn yesterday…”

She was met with some incredulous looks, blushes, coughs and some dirty smiles. She rolled her eyes.

“Oh come on people. Everybody watches porn, and those who say they don’t are liars. Anyway, I was watching porn, getting my groove on, when one of these videos caught my eye. I kept watching and found another eight videos such as the one you just saw. That’s when I packed up my stuff and drove over to Pikes place at two in the morning.”

Marcus remembered vividly.   
A knocking on his door at 3 A.M had woken him up and Lynn had stormed into his apartment like a whirlwind, hooking up her laptop to his TV without so much as a ‘how do you do’ and had started playing porn… in the middle of his living room.

“We did a rough search for the person, or rather company, who uploaded the videos. It’s a studio called, and here comes the mockery, P*rn St*rs – and they got the starry night of Van Gogh as a logo. We had a look at previous videos – some of them are duds, nothing of real value in them, but some of them feature stolen art worth millions of dollars from all around the world.”

Lynn hit a button on her laptop and opened up a gallery with more than 20 pages of pornography.

That was his sign to take over again while she handled the computer.

“The first video was uploaded five years ago. We looked for a pattern and we think we found one. The oldest videos do not have an active comment section anymore, but the latest ones do. We think, that these videos are a platform for hidden auctions. You comment, with a code word or some such thing, and let the thieves know you’re interested in the painting, or whatever is on auction. Once the auction is over, the video stays on, but comments are disabled, marking the item as sold.”

The crime tickled every agents brain in the room and they were looking at every possible angle. Marcus was excited that everyone in the room seemed to be eager for a hunt.

“I had a meeting all day with our director, you all know him”, he said, “to create this task force. As this is a very sensitive topic, there are rules to be followed and we have worked out a plan how to catch these people. And the art department hopes that we can count on all of you for your help.”

Lynn killed the monitor, letting the porn disappear.

“The art department will do the honours of watching hours and hours of porn”, he sighed, but was glad that the room laughed.   
“But of course we can’t be sure what we’ll find. The plan is as follows. If we find a video that we think hits our pool of stolen items, we will forward it to the cyber team. Cyber will try to get any information possible, from locations to IP-Addresses – anything. Your supervisor downstairs has a briefing packet for you.”

Lynn was walking around the room with a bunch of files in her arms, handing them out to the roughly thirty people in the room.

“Now to the sex crimes department. We can’t be sure if any and all things in these videos are legal. So far, thank god, we have not stumbled upon anything involving child pornography, minors or rape – but we can never know. If we think that we have found anything untoward or anything that bothers us at all, it will go over to you. You are the experts on this, so we are counting on you.”

“Now for the legal department. The art department will have to watch a lot of sensitive material over the next few weeks. We will be given adapted employment contracts for the duration of this task forces existence, because of the sexual nature of this case. I spoke to our boss though. Before anyone signs this; if anyone, anyone at all, is uncomfortable working on this case, there is a chance to back off now, no questions asked. Our director will be the one to tell me who exactly is on board for this mission, and I will be the only one to know.”

Lynn took over again, having finally finished her task of giving everyone the information they needed.   
“Agent Pike also had a talk with our in-house counsel team. We are being given extra slots, if there is the need to talk about any sensitive topics, so you can make appointments whenever you want.”

“Finally, we will meet in this meeting room every Monday and Thursday afternoon, to compare any progress. The art department will work in teams of two and from home in order to avoid … _incidents_ and embarrassment as much as possible.”

Marcus did not need to explain to a room full of adults that this was a good solution.   
Watching porn for hours on end would make everyone either horny, uncomfortable or lead to situations, no matther for what reason they had to watch it.   
If this was only shared with one colleague instead of a room full, it would be best.

“As I said, all of your supervisors have a briefing for you as well. As head of the art department I thank you for your cooperation in advance.”

Everyone started to get up, but Lynn yelled: “Stop!”

All eyes were on her, as she opened one of the many cardboard boxes in the corner of the room.

“I made T-Shirts! Everyone gets one.”

She held up a black T-Shirt, with pink lettering: **_P*rn is Art_**.

This was news to even Marcus, but it had an effect that he could not deny.   
Everyone was laughing. The tension was gone and everyone was eager to start.   
And with Team T-Shirts and a new goal to catch some bad guys, operation P*rn is Art was in full swing.

* * *

After the meeting, Marcus, Lynn and six members of his art department team were sitting in his office, sipping Whiskey.

Marcus had a special briefing for them.   
He was the lead agent for an art department holding almost twenty agents, but now only six of them were present.

“As you can see”, he said, “I handpicked the team for this. Every member in this room is either single, divorced or unattached, so I thought we would be best in handling this. We are going to work from home and I did not want to involve wives, husbands, partners or kids in this case.”

They all nodded, seeing his reasoning.

“I can’t lie, this is going to be very awkward and it will put a strain on the team. But I trust all of you, and we are adults. That being said, our director cleared an extra budget for us for.. _uh_.. supplies we might need while we work from home.”

“Like what?”, Jenkins asked, emptying his glass.

Marcus sighed.

“Anything from take out food, to lube, condoms and toys is included. The FBI is paying, just be sure to keep the invoices so you can be reimbursed.”

That put smiles on the agents faces, but also a few blushes.

“I will let you choose your partners, but I do think I know already who will work together. Just check in with me when you’ve decided. Lynn made me aware of this case, so she will work with me, but if there’s anything any of you need, just call anytime.”

The team exchanged glances, looking between the consultant and their boss.  
It was blatantly obvious to anyone that they had the hots for each other and liked each other a lot. Well, to anyone but them.

A few weeks ago, Lynn had even kissed him in front of everyone – a kiss fueled by too much sugar, adrenalin and fatigue that she evidently did not even remember.   
This was going to be very interesting.

“We start immediately. Home office from tomorrow on. We’ll do shift work from Monday to Saturday, overtime pay is in place. Dismissed.”

“Don’t forget your T-Shirts!”, Lynn chuckled, throwing the porn shirts after her colleagues.

As soon as the door closed behind his agents, Marcus let himself fall into his chair, exhausted.   
He pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes, groaning.

“This is so uncomfortable”, he groaned.

Lynn thought about what to do.   
She had brought this case to his attention. Of course she’d had to, important and beautiful stolen art was on the line.   
But this was going to be awkward. She knew she had feelings for Marcus and watching porn with him for weeks would certainly lead to something. 

She just didn’t know what it would lead to.

She knew about his unlucky history with love. She also knew he was a gentleman and would never do anything at all to cross a line.

  
 _‘He’s probably going to sit beside me for nine hours with a raging boner if I don’t take the first step_ ’, she thought, sighing.

“Marcus? Let’s go get dinner.”

* * *

The pub Lynn had chosen was full of people, but they had found a secluded booth at the back of the building where they could talk in peace.

Between burgers, fries and beer, Lynn waited for the right moment to start the conversation with her boss slash porn partner.

“Marcus, we need to establish a game plan for the next few weeks.”

He sighed, a flush creeping up his neck, which he rubbed at embarrassed. But he nodded.

“You’re right.”

“We are going to watch hours and hours of porn together. And sneaking out every hour into a bathroom to take care of our urges in private is not going to be very efficient.”

“Uh…”

“Listen to me. It’s important to me to catch these guys. The art is in danger, Marcus. _The art!_ If there is even a tiny chance that a speck of sperm will hit a Van Gogh, I’d rather jump between and get a load of that into my face myself.”

“ _Lynn_!”, he chocked, coughing up his beer. Was she just talking about _a load_ of…of…. To the _… to the face?  
  
_

“Marcus. This is going to be awkward and embarrassing. But I have a suggestion.”

“Alright? Shoot.”

 _Shoot? Macrus, you idiot!,_ he thought, wondering if the bench h was sitting on was willing to swallow him hole.

And at the thought of _swallowing_ , he almost choked again on his beer.

“You are an extremely attractive man. I don’t know if you think I’m attractive, but that is not the point right now. The point is that we will be aroused and that we will be very horny.”

“ _Wha_ \- o… of course I think you’re attractive..”, he mumbled.

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t push yourself, boss.”

He admitted that Teresa and his first wife had been the complete opposites of Lynn.   
Her candy coloured her, her plush physique and her strange clothing style were something he never thought he’d be into, but her smile, her humour, her eyes and, he had to admit, her above average size boobs had him going. 

But he would never tell her that.   
Besides, he was her colleague and her boss.   
This was going to be an absolute nightmare.

“Anyway, I suggest that for the duration of this task force, we agree on a friends-with-benefits relationship. Sexual intercourse with no strings attached.”

Marcus stared at Lynn as if a second head had just grown from her neck. His burger fell from his hands down onto his plate.

“You… want us to have sex.”

“Yes.”

“Y-You’re okay with… having sex with me during this case?”

She sighed, but smiled.   
It was enjoyable to see him cringe and blushing. But this was the only solution that would make sense, save art and make this case less embarrassing.

“Yes, Marcus. Whenever tension gets high, we hit pause and see what happens. Now-“, she stood up, grabbed her leather satchel and took a place next to him.

“Tomorrow, 9.A.M, your place. I’ll stop by a sex shop real quick now and get us some supplies.”

Before it could get any more awkward, she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his flaming red cheek.

“Let’s save some art and watch some porn.”

* * *


End file.
